Narcissist by Rina Mcnally

Author:Rina Mcnally
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: narcissism, narcissism abuse, narcissist, narcissistic personality disorder, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic recovery, narcissistic personality disorder self help
Publisher: Rina Mcnally
Published: 2019-04-07T16:00:00+00:00

Step Five – Choose Your Friends Wisely / No Go Contact If You Need To

I saw a meme on Instagram the other day, which perfectly ties in to this point. It said, ‘Life Is Too Short for Temporary People’. This is as true as it gets. Imagine the opposite, that you live your life with people who you know are not going to be there for you in 10 years’ time.

We as people, friendly people, are far too accommodating. Just because you go to the same gym as someone, or work in the same place, or have mutual friends, it doesn’t mean you need to be their friend. They can call you a friend, but the line between friend and acquaintance needs to be clearer. I’ve been guilty of being accommodating and friendly to everyone. It’s not a bad trait, but sometimes I’ve blurred the lines between who is my actual friend and who is only a passer-by, a temporary person, so to speak.

I fell into the trap of letting narcissists into my home. If they don’t see gold-plated jewels and furniture of the quality of royalty, they will find a way to ridicule it. If they have a bigger TV than you, they will smugly chuckle at it. They are the worst people to bring to your home. On this particular occasion, these two narcissists came as part of a party, and they had mutual friends. I was left in an unfortunate, difficult situation – they wanted to attend, and if I had said no, it would have looked bad to our mutual friends and perhaps soured the relationship. The very fact I thought of that was a mistake. I should have been more ruthless, and just said no.

Their turning up to the party lead to me being the brunt of a smear campaign. I didn’t identify the issue until I was forced to go on holiday with one of these narcissists. Again, we shared mutual friends; on the holiday, he started talking about my previous business ventures – things I didn’t realize he had any idea of. He started making fun of them. I knew then he had been stalking me. He also mentioned other things that I’d never discussed with him. It became apparent to me then narcissist had reared its head. It went a step further, and he secretly recorded me telling a story to the guys – typical locker room talk that one has when on vacation with friends.

These are the dangers with associating with people who a) pretend to be your friend and b) acquaintances, mutual friends of your real friends. You must be extremely careful these days. Remember what we mentioned in the previous chapter? People want you to fail. The majority of people want you to fail. Even some parents, to a degree, will distance themselves from you if they feel you may be more successful than they are. Most people don’t want you to succeed and thrive in life.

I want you to do an exercise right now.

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